Successful people, regardless of what they lack—money, looks, or social connections—always radiate energy and confidence. Even the most skeptical ones find themselves enamoured with these charming personalities. They’re the ones you turn to for help, advice, and companionship.
Deep inside we know that there is something special about this person, maybe the way they talk, or what they talk? Can’t quite figure it out? Don’t worry. We know their secrets and now you are gonna know them too!
1. Confidence is the key:
Apart from looks, what separates you from normal people of average standards at first impressions would be how you carry yourself. While insecure people are often irritating and high-maintenance, confident people are great to be around. They are more nurturing, easier to talk to, and just seem like a breath of air. That is how confident people end up making a more lasting impression and will find it easier to bond with people. Here are 16 Ways to Boost Your Confidence Instantly!
2. Don’t hear, listen!:
If you decide to take a genuine interest in the other person, you won’t just hear but listen. When someone is talking to you, instead of thinking what your response would be or how it would affect/help you, focus on what is being said. Ask questions and draw them out even more. Every conversation is an opportunity to learn something new and good conversationalists know that.
3. Take the small talk further:
While small talk is a good way of getting started, taking it further is what the real deal is. Asking open-ended questions (who, what, when, where, why or how) is a great way to create connection and find depth even, in short, everyday conversations. For example, instead of asking “What is your favourite movie?” you could ask about their dreams and hobbies such as “What are you most passionate about?”
4. Keeping it real:
“Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” – Maya Angelou
Would you be around someone who is hard to read and doesn’t sound genuine? Neither would I. Be who you say you are. In this age, where lies and deception are an everyday thing, you can choose to be real. When you make that decision, people will automatically gravitate towards you because they would know you are reliable and authentic.
6. Energy is contagious:
What you think is what you say and what you say is what you think. If you wallow in self-pity and talk about negative things, people will find a way to get away from you.
Be positive and passionate. When you seek out good things to say about others, you will find more good things about them. Bring out the best in people, especially when they themselves can’t see it.
7. Politeness and Manners pay off:
It is the little things that will set you apart from the rest of the crowd. Compliments go a long way in the journey of life, but what truly makes others like you are the simple manners: saying “please” and “thank you.”
8. Don’t be like every other person:
Sure showing off your new phone must feel nice, to you. But wouldn’t it be better if someone first asked you and then you gave out all the details.
On the other hand, though everyone loves it, when you gossip, people perceive you as someone they cannot trust. Instead, bring out the best of yourself and others. If you want to be someone people remember, you have to do things differently.
9. Treat others like they want to be treated:
Be it your driver, or your teacher, everyone deserves respect and kindness. That is the general rule and you already know it. Time to follow it.
On the other hand, for one on one conversations, you must have heard “Treat others as you want to be treated.” No. Don’t treat everyone the same way. Know that every person is unique and wants to be treated that way. Adjust your behaviour and styles according to people. For instance, if someone is sharing a problem with you, just nod along. Even if you have the solution to their problem, hear them out. If they don’t ask for advice, maybe they just need someone to vent to.
To understand how and why people behave the way they do, I’d suggest this book.
10. Be adaptable:
Adaptability isn’t a part of success; it’s a part of life. Whether it is a crowded restaurant or chatty classroom, learn to adapt to the situation. You can talk anywhere with anyone.
Same goes for people. If in a conversation, you find that the person is quite different, instead of forming judgments and assumptions be receptive to them. This is how you will grow as a person and expand your horizons.
“Charisma is not hard to emulate, but it does take skill and savvy.”