When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Sometimes life might not seem fair and sometimes it might seem like you’re getting the short end of the stick, but it will turn out for the better. Mentally strong people manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviour in ways that set them up for success in life. It all lies in how you think. If you are mentally strong, you can be happy in many different situations.
If you want to be one of those people, here are 13 things that they do in order to be mentally strong:
1. Control your emotions:
First of all, don’t let your emotions control you or overwhelm you in any given situation. Take a moment and analyse the situation. Mentally strong people have the ability to put their logical side in the driver’s seat while keeping the emotional part of themselves on the passenger’s side.
At the same time, don’t allow others to control your emotions, that is, don’t give someone else power over you. Mentally strong people don’t say things like, “My friends makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions. They know that they have a choice in how they respond to a certain situation.
2. Accept things you can’t change and change what you can:
You just can’t change somethings, all you can do is accept them. That’s what mentally strong people do. They know the difference between what they can and can’t change. They simply accept it because to do otherwise would only be putting more negative energy into a situation which wouldn’t reap any results.
Furthermore, most important things in life are changeable. For example, if you are unsatisfied with your performance in your academics, then study hard next time instead of crying and blaming it on other things. If you really want something, go get it!
3. Find your motivation:
Motivation is the desire to do things. Whether you’re tackling a problem, handling a difficult exam, or looking for a way to push yourself harder in your next semester, you need to stay motivated. So where do you find motivation? The simple answer is that you have to ask yourself, “Why?”
Why do I need to solve this problem?
Why do I need to get through this?
Why do I want this?
The answers to these questions will give you the very reasons that will make you feel motivated.
4. Manage Your Expectations:
The best offence is a good defence. One of the best ways you can build resilience to the things that come your way is to manage your expectations. If you have poorly managed expectations, you’ll run into more surprises, which can make you feel out of control. Lack of control can lower your morale and weaken your mental fortitude. For example, expecting to pass an exam when you know you have not prepared well is denial and being completely thorough with the subject yet believing that you might not pass, would put you through unnecessary stress.
5. Stop Taking Things Personally:
Recognise that what happens to you is the result of other people’s actions, thoughts, and feelings, which you are not responsible for. Mentally tough people do not believe that anyone “has it out for them,” or “that the world is against them.” They spend no time wondering why others do the things they do. They think about what they will do about it.
6. Don’t dwell on the negatives:
Instead of seeing the glass as half empty or even half full, see the glass as always full – half liquid and half air. Focus on solutions. You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining about the bad weather or their teacher who does not teach properly. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognise that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their actions and attitude towards life.
7. Take personal responsibility for your thoughts and actions:
If something goes wrong in your life, don’t point the finger at other people. Mentally strong people know that they are the only ones who are in charge of their successes or failures. They never see themselves as a victim. For example, if you are late for class, instead of blaming the traffic accept that you could have started your journey a little early.
8. Love yourself:
A lot of people think that self-love is the same as being conceited or having a big ego. That is far from the truth. People who truly love themselves don’t go around telling others how great they are. People already know they are awesome because they see their greatness. Mentally strong people love themselves and believe they are capable of doing anything.
9. Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Yourselves:
Feeling sorry for yourself is self-destructive. Self-pity wastes time, creates negative emotions and hurts your relationships. Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them or they have treated themselves in the past. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life. They understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.
10. Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone:
Stop putting everyone else before you. Knowing your priorities and values helps you put the brakes on people-pleasing. Don’t not be afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. Mentally strong people recognise that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They strive to be kind and fair. But, they can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.
11. Learn from the past:
Many people like ignore the past, especially when it is painful looking back. But mentally strong people know that their past has made them who they are today. They look at what did and didn’t work in the past, and they do it better in the future.
Don’t see the past in terms of mistakes or failures, see these things as lessons learned. Accept responsibility for your behaviour and learn from your past mistakes. As a result, such people don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.
12. Have self-discipline:
Sure, we all have things we dislike doing. But while many people avoid and procrastinate, mentally strong people train their minds to do what they need to do. Do what needs to be done, whether you like it or not. If you have an assignment due tomorrow which you do not like, instead of procrastinating it for the night time, do it during the day itself so that it does not pester you all the time.
Meditation has been known to help people be calm and in better control of themselves. To know more about meditation, click here.
13. Keep going:
No matter how many times you get knocked down, get up one more time. Never see yourself as a failure. Mentally strong people never give up. If things aren’t going according to plan, they just make a new plan. They don’t get stuck. They are always moving forward toward making a better future.
The hardest walk you can make is the walk you make alone, but that is the walk that makes you the strongest.
If you think you’re not mentally strong, don’t worry. You can get there. All it takes is the desire to actually do it and practice. Little boosts in willpower increase your confidence. Therefore, when you accomplish little things, you begin to see that you really do have control of yourself.
Developing mental strength is a process and it’s not something you can conjure overnight. It takes a lot of patience and a conscious effort. So make a decision right now that you not only can – but will – become mentally strong.