India is going through an interesting transition. While our parents’ generation focused on getting two square meals a day owing to financial instability; the current generation, with stable finances and emotional backing, is more willing to take risks and explore their passions. You’re one of those people, aren’t you?
But veering away from a path that’s laid out for you isn’t going to be a walk in the park by a long shot. That’s because, along with all the hard work and the anxiety of figuring the way forward, you also have to convince your parents to let you ditch a safe job for something different! Yes, you could always just defy your parents and do whatever you want; sometimes it’s necessary, but mostly it’s just taking the easier way out (and it is not recommended). Why? Because what is success without a family around to share it with? Also, your parents are a bigger asset than you think.
Their maturity, experience, and perspective can play a huge role in helping you achieve your goals. They will often be the only ones you can trust or fall back on when you find yourself burned out. And of course, they love you just as much as you love them. So don’t look for a detour! Instead, make your parents believe in you and in your passion.
How, you ask? Well, it’s both tricky and simple – just like your relationship with your parents! This article will give you a path to follow, but you must decide the pace on your own. At the end of the day, you know your parents best.
Understand Your Parents’ Perspective
Almost three decades of unrelenting work and fighting this ruthless world to provide for their families would make anyone extremely protective of their children.
While you only see the possibilities of your dreams, all they see is you throwing away the stability they worked so hard to give you.
They fear for you. They want you to be safe and understand that doing something new and different involves a lot of risk.
In their eyes, they’ve given you an education, a house, a name, everything to get a good 9-5 job, make a family and live a secure life, which of course, is enough for some, but not for you.
It’s important to understand that they are not your enemy and surely not a hindrance to your growth, as many teenagers often mistake their parents to be. You just need to make them believe in your goal and in your ability to achieve it.
While you only see the possibilities of your dreams, all they see is you throwing away the stability they worked so hard to give you. In order to succeed, it’s important to find a balance between the two. Communicate with them and learn what you can about their past experiences.
Make them believe in you
Why would your parents let you take a risk if your passion changes every second month? It’s important for you to give your passion a good thought.
Know the cons of say, being a soldier, and prepare yourself for an extremely difficult life. Know the cons of being an actor and understand that you probably won’t make it, as several don’t.
Be honest to yourself, stay grounded and prepare for hard work. Do the necessary research and speak to those in your field of interest. Keep an open mind as passions change and you might find something more suitable as you mature and experience new things.
Explain To Them What You’re Passionate About
Your parents might not understand the difference between a cook and a chef. They might not understand your desire to be a fashion designer or a photographer. They might not be aware of the opportunities that exist today for writers and poets.
Well, it is your job to explain to them what you want and why you want it. If you tell them that you want to follow your dream of being a chef without taking the pain to educate them about the job opportunities out there, your plea is bound to fall on deaf ears.
You need to explain to them the role a chef plays, his status, the requirements and why you love it.
Ensure that you have conviction in your voice and know what you’re talking about. You will have to answer questions and if you fail to provide satisfactory responses, you might just lose credibility.
Have a Plan-B
Your parents want safety and stability. So why not give it to them?
You must understand that hard work will not always result in a win. Sometimes things just don’t work out. You might get injured before a big race or sick before that big exam you prepared for. Things like these happen and none of this is in your control.
If you put all your eggs in one basket, your parents will sense immaturity and irresponsibility. Show them that you have given your life a thought, planned things out and have back-ups, and they will see that as a good sign.
Moreover, you too will feel safe since you’ll have something to fall back on if things don’t work out. Yes, it won’t be the glorious ending you wanted, but that’s what ‘adulting’ is.
Earn Your Parents’ Trust
Here is the deal. You’re dealing with professionals here. Your parents deal with stress and challenges at work on a daily basis, they make decisions that may even alter lives! To put it simply – they know what they’re doing. Thus, your first challenge is to make them believe that you have it in you.
It’s on you to show them how driven you are. If you sleep all day and then tell them that you want to join the army, they won’t let you, you! Similarly, if you want to be a musician but your guitar is gathering dust, you can’t expect your parents to take you seriously.
On the other hand, if you’re sincerely working towards your goals as well as honoring their wishes, constantly finding ways to bring your dream closer, waking up before the sun rises to work and improve yourself, your parents will see it.
If you put all your eggs in one basket, your parents will sense immaturity and irresponsibility.
Once you’ve proven yourself to them, you will EARN their consent along with their respect. That’ll be your first victory.
These points are essential, yes. However, it’s also a fact that many Indian parents don’t understand because they don’t want to.
They might have prejudices against women in the military or men taking up what they consider to be ‘feminine’ jobs. They might even refuse to accept your rejection of their plans out of sheer stubbornness. It’s very common and something you should be prepared to deal with.
While this article will prove helpful for anyone with understanding parents, we will also touch upon those who who have parents that are set in their way of thinking. Until then, don’t forget to keep working.